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A Frustrating Brain

I have returned to studying as a mature age student to try to get myself some skills to get a job. Having dyspraxia means I can’t just go down to Mcdonalds and apply for a job. Being unable to multi-task I would be to slow. I decided to try Information Technology as there are many jobs in this area and I hoped my dyspraxia wouldn’t make it to difficult. I was wrong.

Yesterday I had a very frustrating day. We did an assessment last week and my lecturer said she can see that I have all the skills, but I am to slow. In order to pass I have to be faster. I don’t type very fast and if I try to type faster my lack of co-ordination means I hit the wrong keys.I use all my fingers but I don’t touch type. Touch typing requires spacial awareness, something I unfortunatly struggle with. It is also difficult to find my place when glancing from the instructions to my keyboard. This is not uncommon with dyspraxia but none the less frustrating and time consuming.

It isn’t that I don’t understand the concepts. I am not stupid, but when your brain can only cope with 1 task at a time everything takes longer.Organisation is also a constant struggle, and something I have to remind myself of repeatedly. I know I frustrate people but they should see how frustrating it is to live in my head.

The one thing I do have going for me is determination. I simply refuse to give up. I think God made people with dyspraxia determined because we would never achieve anything if we gave up when the going got tough. Someone once told me that” he admired the way I never give up and it was something he had to work on.” It is still very difficult sometimes to stay positive and tell your self that you are as good as everyone else. Sometimes I concentrate so hard my head hurts. When you have to work twice as hard and twice as long to be half as good as everyone else, you cant help being frustrated. Though the sense of achievement when you do succeed is immense.

If you are a parent or a teacher of a child with dyspraxia, always praise their achievments. It can be very damaging to self esteem when other people do things so easily while you need to try so hard. While there are some things we will never achieve there are many things we can achieve with a lot of hard work.  I will pass this course but I will have to work twice as hard as everyone else to do it. Always remember  disability and stupidity are not the same thing.

Sharon Beaumont

I am a single mother of 4 who has lived with dyspraxia for several decades. My hope is that by sharing my experiences I can help to raise awareness of dyspraxia. I trained as an Education Assistant but found some areas of this to be a difficult career if you have dyspraxia. Currently I am an Information Technology Student and am trying to teach my self to speak French. I love travel, writing and anything French.

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